First blog post

This is the post excerpt.

Hey there, I’m here to share all my life events and my point of view to these. I’d love to hear from you too if your life events are similar to mine or if you like my posts. Life is sometimes sweet and sometimes sour. But these events add spices to our life. Come and share your spices with me and also taste the varieties of spices I have! I♡life

The gray soul

​She thought, she was the daughter of the strongest witch

She thought, she was the upcoming queen of hell
She thought, she was the darkest of the dark souls
He found some shimmering glitters in herself.

She thought, she was bad luck for everyone, which made her happy
She thought, she was a real evil, someone’s death could make her happy
She thought, she was a hungry monster, only blood could finish her appetite
He found out, she actually loves icecream.

She thought, she had the throne of hell
She thought, she had the crown made of skeletons
She thought, she had a ring with a poisonous black stone
He wanted to gift her a ring with a heart shape diamond.

He wanted to take her out of this evil world
She said, “I’m born to live in here”
He said, “You’re caged in this darkness, you’re made for the good”
She said, “I’m afraid of the good”.

She told him to leave her alone, he’s too good for her
He said, “you are actually both”
She asked, “why do you wanna stay?”
He said, “Don’t you know? my favorite color is gray”.

In remembrance of him

I still remember the day when I saw that guy…

I remember, I saw his brown eyes in the first place

Not exactly brown, it seemed like the color of honey

I liked those eyes.

I remember, his complexion was fair

Not so much, but just like medium to fair complexion

I wanted to touch his skin.

I remember, I keenly observed his lips

Those had a pinkish color, seemed he hasn’t ever smoked yet

I really wanted to kiss those lips.

I remember, I saw a little mole on his neck

It was a light brown mole on his fair skin

I wanted to place a kiss on that mole.

I remember, when he asked me my name

I heard his voice

His voice felt like a music I always wanted to hear

I wanted him to talk with me, always.

I remember, I saw everything perfect in him

I remember, I also saw some imperfections in him too

Like, his short height, like, his dark circles, like, some other stuffs which others call imperfect 

I loved those imperfections 

I wonder If he had ever observed me like this.

If he had ever seen my eyes staring at him.

If he had ever seen a smile at the corner of my lip whenever he’s in front of me.

If he had ever seen the redness on my cheeks whenever he called my name.

If he had ever seen my little perfections.

If he had ever seen my huge imperfections.

Still if he had ever liked my flaws.

I wonder, if he had ever loved me 

With all my perfections and imperfections 

Like I did…

We were single weirdos then

​We three besties…

Named our group “bad bitches”;
We didn’t care what others said;
We were single weirdos then.

We didn’t dream about cute boys,
Boys didn’t dream about us,
We used to spend Valentine’s day together;
We were single weirdos then.

We traveled by bus, half an hour journey it was,
Used to talk shit, irritating all the passengers;
Reached the river side at 4pm, lot of couples visited the place,
But we were single weirdos then.

Took a bench where the breeze comes to cuddle with us;
Laughing, singing, gossiping…our voice reached their peaks;
The couples beside us left with anger;
We were single weirdos then.

We started talking about sex
Browser is in hand, searching for XXX
Lowered the volume, we’re screaming “hawwww see that d!€#”
We were fucking single weirdos then.

Done with those shit, we’re damn hungry
3 plates of gravy momos, that is damn tasty
Then 3 glasses of lime soda, we came back to home at 8pm
We were the happiest single weirdos then.

One day, one bitch got engaged
Another bitch got engaged too, alone…only one remained.
They think their darlings are their soulmate, we once called them fuck boys
We were single weirdos then.

The bitches have no time for the lonely one
They chat only with their love, our group chat is all done
We once used to send voice messages
We were single weirdos then.

We still love each other, there’s no doubt,

But now we don’t take selfies with pout,

So we just wander in our gallery, and remind those days we clicked the pics;

We were single weirdos then. 

I’m still waiting for you to wish me a happy birthday 

2nd September, 2016, 11:30pm:-

I am waiting for my birthday to knock on my door! I’m gonna complete 19 years of my life. Though I’m an early goer to bed, I am keeping myself from closing my eyes and eagerly waiting for people to wish me; my family, my friends, my best friend, and the people in social networking sites with whom I rarely talk and still I want them to wish me. I want a lot of wishes. And I want the second wish ( first from my parents of course ) to come from a specific person….

            No, he’s not my boyfriend, I’m still single. You’ll think he’s my crush. Actually he’s more than that. I didn’t ever realised exactly when I fell in love with him, but since I’ve realised….I can’t spend a single moment without thinking about him.

                   I want him to wish me a happy birthday. This would be his first wish to me since we’ve become known to each other. If he calls me to wish my birthday, I’m gonna record it, and if he sends me message, I’m gonna screenshot it and treasure it! I’m really excited.

                      Ummm, he’s a very busy guy. He only gets time to come on social media after 11pm and atleast stays online for 2am. I haven’t told him it’s my birthday cause I was feeling a little shy, like what’d he think if I tell him straight away, “it’s my birthday tomorrow!”. No, I’ll just let him get the notification and…..then…..he’s gonna wish me. Yoohoooo!!!

3rd September, 2017, 12:00am:-

Happy birthday to you

Happy birthday to you 

Happy birthday dear Tapasi 

Happy birthday to you 

Omg, my phone is hanging! there’s a lots of messages! Yeah mom and dad I love you, you’re the best, don’t forget about my gift, ok goodnight lemme check my messages!

Oh my bestie made a a beautiful collage with my pictures! thank you sweetheart<3. Ah my college friends have changed the group profile pic to my pic! that’s so sweet! hello sis! I’m glad you called, thank you so much for wishing me, what is my bday gift tell me! ok, back to messages! oh God there’s lots of notifications! this year I’ve got the biggest amount of wishes!. Really my birthday’s gonna be damn awesome! 

Ummm….where is he? Let’s check his last seen. Ohh….”last seen at 11:59″. Ok he’s gonna be online again, let’s wait.

3rd September, 2016, 12:45am:-

He’s late. Come on, don’t try to judge my patience. Let’s refresh again, who wished me? Nah, not he…..come on, how long will you take?

3rd September, 2016, 1:20am:-

I accidentally fell asleep. No, I should keep checking. Still no notification from him. What’s his last seen?

“Last seen at 11:59pm”

He didn’t come online. Will he not come online tonight? No, it’s only 1:20am, there’s still chances till 2am. Let’s keep checking…

3rd September, 2016, 3pm:-

Why am I crying? is it really a matter to be sad for? to cry for? it was a bad luck that he didn’t get online and so he didn’t get the notification. Come on, it’s not his fault, it’s my bad luck. Keep calm, cool down…..

Suddenly I broke down in tears. A lot of tears. It was tough for me to breath. But I can’t scream. I can’t even, a little. Mom was right beside me sleeping. But I couldn’t take this any more. A “more than sobbing” sound came from my mouth. It caused to wake my mom up. She asked, “Did he?”. I could hardly reply, “no”. Mom said,”Go to the washroom, rinse your face and try to sleep, I’ll pat your back until you fall asleep.”

I met him on that day at 11:30am. He was in front of me. He was still unknown to my bday. We were with some other people too and were just chilling. But still then I couldn’t tell him that it was my bday. Somehow I also didn’t want anyone to tell him about my bday. He came to know about it at 8:00pm that night through notification on social networking sites and sent a text, “happy birthday”. And the next day he was shouting on me like, “why the hell didn’t you tell me about your bday? did you try to skip the bday treat?” 

             He finally wished me but the text hadn’t that much value to make it a treasure anymore. I was sad, I was hurt, I couldn’t express, I spent all the day enjoying with my friends with a fake smile. I cried on my bday for the first time.

Hope he wishes me this year at the right time…..

Do you love me?

​I’m in the middle of gossips

When you think I won’t notice
You stare at me like I’m a rare species
You don’t know I’ve seen your eyes

This is the moment when our eyes meet
I’ve forgotten what I was talking about
You were looking at me the entire time throughout
Now you think, “she caught me, shit

Don’t worry, I love the way you look at me
Feels like there’s a lot of thing you wanna tell me
And the things are secrets, you only wanna tell me
The more you’re desperate, the more you stare at me

Wish you’ve dared to be with me alone
One or two hours would be enough
You’d tell me your secret stuff
I’d tell you mine, all these days I have them own

Please hold my hand when you’re confessing to me
Don’t panic, my eyes have already told you “yes” secretly
If you’ve already read my dreamy eyes, those dream about you only
Come closer and whisper in my ears, “Do you love me?”

Her first make-up box

She’s 15 now. A teenager with her dreams unfulfilled but she won’t let them to be buried always. They will come out one day, and shine like a diamond. She dreams to be a model.

                    In her imaginary world she has become the page 3 model. Lights, cameras, dresses and…..make-up. Yup, she loves make-up. It hides her tiny little spots on her cheeks, broadens and brightens her eyes, make her blush even though her crush “Zayn Mallik” is not in front her and makes her lips look like the petals of the most beautiful flower in the world.

                    Yeah, she loves lipsticks. But her mother didn’t allow her to put it on when she was a kid. Kids shouldn’t touch their momma ‘s make-up. But yes, whenever her momma went for shopping and left her at home, she could never leave the chance….she went in front of the mirror, took the Crimson red lipstick and brush it on her little lips until it covers every corner. Most of the time the lipstick went out of the border, she felt like a failure artist, rubbed it off from her lips with her little dress and applied it again. Her grandma never prohibited her to touch her daughter’s precious things, rather she helped to hide all her granddaughter’s crimes.

            It’s her birthday. She’ll be on her sweet sixteen. The two arrows in the clock came the closest and pointed at “12”.

            “Happy birthday to you
             Happy birthday to you
            Happy birthday to dear Sia
            Happy birthday to you”.

Mom and dad sang together. Grandma wasn’t among them anymore. The candles blew off. She cut the cake. Now it’s time for birthday gift!!! Mom is smiling, Dad seems to not know about the gift but guessing. She struggled with the rapper for sometime, and then…..surprise!!!!

               A box containing brushes, color palettes, Kajol, mascara, eyeliner, blusher and her favourite…..lipstick. She looked at her mom, her eyes so shiny and big she didn’t need to put on liner, her cheeks so glowing she didn’t need a blusher. Her mom  said, “your lips look pale, put on the lipstick, go, hurry up!”
She took the lipstick and rushed to the mirror. She was looking beautiful in her birthday dress. She opened the lipstick cap, turned the lower segment of it, the Crimson color wax stick came out…..

    She applied it so perfectly this time❤

The story of a “Big girl”

When you see the title of this post, you already know the contents of the post. You may think it’s about those typical problems a big girl faces. May be, but no two big girls have a same story. This is a story of a girl who’s very close to me and she wanted me to share this to everyone. I’m representing this story just as she’d ever have represented…

           Yeah, I’m a big girl. So what, do I look like a rare species? Why are you looking at me like that? Why there is a smile on your face and why does it feel so irritating to me?
           I’m fat I know. I have big thighs that touch each other always. Maybe they are in love with each other so they don’t wanna be apart. The upper portion of my arms are big, so what? They do the same work for me as your hands do. My jeans size is 40. Yeah I know it’s big for you all, so what? Atleast I’m able to wear the jeans. My stomach is not flat, of course, I love to eat. Every foodie people have. Why are you laughing at me?
                      OK…..laugh out loud. I don’t care. You’re not the people I’ve ever been comfortable with. I actually try to stay away from you all. And then there comes some people I call in my mind “fucking sympathisers”. Do you people have only one thing to talk to me about?…..

“Why don’t you join jym? Follow a regular diet chart. Seriously you don’t look good in this figure. Lose some weight.”

           Yeah right, so you’re really worried about my current looks! What the hell is your business with my big size? And who told you that I haven’t tried to lose weight? Do you think I love to be teased by those fucking bullies? I’ve starved for long hours every day in a regular basis. I’ve purchased varieties of sliming products, I’ve spent a lot of money there. Do you know the results….I haven’t changed a little.
         I simply didn’t care about those bullies in my school and college. But life took a turn…..
                    I became friends with a guy in social networking sites. We didn’t know about each other’s looks and didn’t even asked each other to send a photo. I became very close to the guy as we had similar hobbies, favorite games, shows, songs. I suddenly fell in love with him when he once texted me “I’m thankful to God that he made a connection between us”. I liked the way he used to call me “Angel“.
               I was really happy when he said he wants to meet me. We decided to meet at a coffee shop. It was a Wednesday evening. I put on my make up, the pink top and the black jeans, my favourite perfume and reached the road opposite to the coffee show. I was about to cross the road when suddenly a bike rushed towards me and it was about to hit me but thank God he stopped at the right time. I was really scared and my eyes were closed when I heard the guy was screaming “hey you, why do you need to die in front of my bike? Listen, you won’t die from the a hit of a bike, go in front of a train, you jumbo!”…..
                  I was crying. I was literally very hurt. I wanted to meet him and tell him what happened. I called him. The phone rang just beside me. I saw the guy with the bike picked up phone and said “Yes my angel, where are you? I’ve reached the coffee shop, have you?”.
                       I cut the phone and rushed back to my home. I cried the whole night. “Angel” to “Jumbo“….it was a big change for me, a change too harsh to tolerate. I don’t think I can ever fall in love.

The stories of the big girls are similar at that single point….people call them fat which hurt them a lot. To those big girls….the only important thing for you is to stay healthy, nothing else more than this. You’re beautiful in your own way. Your family and your reliable friends love you a lot and of course there is a person destined for you whose gonna love you the most. Love your life like I do. I❤life.