Declaring a change to my site + my life

I wanted to let you people know that I’ve decided to change my site title “Iheartlife”….you guys will guess the reason probably….let me explain.

I became a member of this huge WordPress community on 1st April this year. 2 months have gone since then and I didn’t expect at first that my writings would be loved and appreciated this much! I’m greatful to you all.

As you all know, I’m a 20 year old freaky girl. In this 20 years I’ve faced a lot of serious and terrible events that people under 20 may hardly face. Now some of you will think, 20 year old freaks are kids slowly drinking from the bottle of “maturity” and they tend to feel depressed but actually aren’t and just need to be relaxed. But I’ll just let you know that I’ve gone through some events that I even can’t share with my parents, I haven’t still now.

In these 2 months, whatever shitty things I wrote, came from my heart and surprisingly I got amazing feedbacks on them. There’s still long way to go but I’m more than satisfied having all these love till now. 

I gave my site title “Iheartlife” and it came randomly. After that what I wrote down, weren’t actually depicting my love for life. It became an irony in fact. It’s not like I’ve ever felt suicidal or tried to harm, I never did such shits. But yes, I don’t remember from when I’ve started spending sleepless nights and I only sleep for 3-4 hours on an average every day. Though I go to bed early, but I’m just unable to sleep and when I finally fall asleep, I mostly spent my unconscious state in freaky nightmares about those painful past I’ve told before. It’s a trouble for me to fall asleep.

Not always I’m surrounded by this darkness. I’ve gone through fair days too, as every person does. I’ve tasted the happiness, I’ve felt the warmth of love, people say I’ve the most brightest smile they’ve ever seen, they say my awkward laughter makes them laugh too. But it’s scary that a smile can terribly camouflage all the pain in a so called happy face. 

Not a single person out there has ever been able to know my true self, cause I’m a bipolar. All these day I’ve spent very much unproductive days, I’m not known to the word “sociable”, and what I’ve done is only roaming in the imaginary and emotional world…and now I’m writing down my world to you all.

This 20 years old girl didn’t know she has any talent, she can’t sing, dance, draw, and when writes….it’s terrible af. But you guys showed your love to all these freaky writings. Thanks for tolerating!

Among all of my blogger friends, I got some jewels who gave my the passion to write down more shit!πŸ˜‚….but still I’m so very thankful to my jewels.πŸ’Ž

  • Chaos-xd, you made me feel that I’m not the only one who’s so much in love with darkness. When I was thinking I was supposed to be drown in this pain, your writings taught me to float in this dark poisonous ocean, without any fear.❀
  • Mila, you chose me as your poem collab friend when I was thinking to stop writing freaky poems. I mean, we published a poem challenge but I’m bad at making poems af. That surely give me positivity.😽
  • Sifar, your first comment on my post was the most precious thing I’ve ever had, you showed intense love to my writings which I didn’t think I’d ever receive.🌸 
  • Orange, I’ve found you as my soul sister and thanks to wordpress that I found you. I shared the deepest thoughts which are only expressed to you. You found those inner meanings of my writings that I thought would be always a secret.πŸŠπŸ’™
  • Robert, my buddy, you made me realise that I’m going through the right path, when I was thinking I should apologise and step back.πŸ™Œ

And there are a lot of lovely fellas of mine who made me open the treasure box and expose the shimmering secrets and I felt pleasure to sprinkle some of the sparkling secrets and feelings among you all. And this is the moment I felt…

I AM A BOX OF GLITTER HIDDEN INSIDE THE DARKEST CAVE OF THIS WORLD.

So I’m changing my site title to “Hidden glitter”…hope you guys will appreciate this change as I’ve decided to sprinkle my glitters on you all through my insignificant writings.

Thank you for giving so much love to this bipolar freak…❀

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51 thoughts on “Declaring a change to my site + my life

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  1. My cutie mango pie πŸ’™
    I’m so glad to have found you here. I don’t know if you realise this, but you are a wonderful writer and such a sweetheart.
    You were the first person I became friends with, beyond WordPress comments. And I’m glad I found a friend in you. I don’t care if I’m younger, but I almost feel like your elder sister πŸ™ˆπŸ™Š I keep giving you senseless advices as though I am an expert and you so patiently listen to all of that.
    I loved the new blog name, hidden glitter, because it perfectly wraps my thoughts about you.
    Honest that I am, I can’t stop myself from telling you that I never thought we would be friends because I thought you are sort of that love struck teenager when I read your first post, but yeah, I know my first impressions are always wrong.
    Please keep spreading your glitters, you have no clue about their brilliance and beauty, they are really significant! They are!
    And another thing I loved, after you wrote about me you put that blue heart, my fav πŸ’™πŸ˜

    Like

    1. You’d be happy to know that I too feel like I’m younger than you and I really listen to your advices patients, they are never senseless my loveπŸ’™
      You’re one of those few people who sprinkle glitters on my life…few means 2 people….you and SπŸ’™
      I never thought I’d have such a person in my life with whom I’ll share my silly coincidentally love story which is indeed an emotional part of my life. It’s a pleasure to talk to you.
      πŸ’™ this is our friendship sign so I had to put it. And I love long comments so feel free to write longer😜….now I’ve written too longer but this is not enough to express my gratitude to you my orange tartπŸ’™

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Awww!
        I usually don’t say stuff like aww! So sort of, this is the first aww moment for me πŸ˜›πŸ˜‚
        Me and S! Feels so good to feel the importance that you have given me πŸ’™

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Nice name…. I could relate to your writing a lot. I’m unsociable too and I also have mood swings. Usually people think I’m crazy and I piss them off too fast. I can’t fall asleep at night and when I sleep, I don’t want to wake up. I have always hidden myself from the world and you can understand how I chose my blog’s name. I’ve always been veiled….. You writing resonates me. Recently I posted a story called ‘escape’ in my blog…. It was my first attempt to unveil myself

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Wonderful post, this, as I read it, indicates a turning point , a possible epiphany. In the darkest reaches of us all is the hidden beauty of life’s glitter. It is through the discovery of this that the darkness is dispelled.
    Thank you for sharing.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. This is such an honest post! You have really poured your heart out. It felt like giving an inside view of your heart and soul! Felt as if you are speaking directly to the reader. I don’t know what to write here as your lines are still running in my head. Feeling mixed emotions.
    It saddens me that by 20 years you have already gone through such pain! The pain which you cant share with anyone…not even your parents..which highlights the emotional trauma you must have gone through and are still living with it! Which is eating you from inside and made you gone or rather suffer through all these – all alone! I will not ask about it. But i know this is terrible and no one except only you would know what it is like! I can only understand the nightmares and sleepless nights they gave you, which probably are only a tip of the iceberg!
    I could feel how discomforting it would have been for you to be amongst​ people who dont know what you are going through beneath that smiling face! That hollowness only you could feel and know! It wrecks and explodes the heart while you struggle to keep your composure from the outside. That desperation…that claustrophobia only you would know. And from what i get about you, you are an introvert right? Which makes it all even worse!! I dont know how you have managed all of it till now. Your posts just described only a fraction of what you may have gone through! I dont know why but i feel i can fully emphasise with you!
    But now lets look at the brighter side. Whatever happened cant be changed but you still have a while life ahead of you. From here on you can dictate your life and make it better. This age from 20 years and onwards is the best time of your life so make it memorable and try to let go of bad memories (i know easy to say but fight!). Do meditation…it will really help you! Join some sports or gym! And if possible, try to talk it over with your parents (if possible, sorry for being personal!) or your best friend and let it all out. Letting it out via writing also helps (as you might have noticed by now).
    And please dont consider yourself any freak! You are one awesome person whose heart is gold and whose writings are honest and loved by so many (including me – you and chaos-xd are two of my personal favorites on wp!!). You are very talented! Try to take revenge on all the bad memories by forgetting them! πŸ˜’ (Indifference is the biggest blow you can give to anyone so why not try it here).
    And i really liked the new name! Goes well with your persona! With this change do change your life as well…change for good! Let the glitter expand!!
    And thanks for including my name here! Feel so touched!! Your writings deserve all the love! I am just a medium!
    PS: I am sorry for a very very very long comment!! The longest ever from me! Felt sad and worried about you hence couldnt control. If you found anything offensive or too personal here then my heartfelt apologies for it! Take care! And good to see you back!!

    Like

    1. I read this comment today in the morning when I was still lying on bed trying to be awake from my sleep which engulfed me at 4:30. I slept for only 3 hours and woke up at 7:30. Though I was supposed to have a headache that is one of my daily pains, your comments freshened up my mind! I’m feeling so much energetic today and feeling very lucky that I met you through WP.
      Your words can never hurt me, they are my healing tablets! But as you said to talk that over with parents, it’s not possible for me. And I don’t have any best friend, once I had, I believed her too much and she betrayed. I literally have no one to share this with.
      But now I have WP. And as I said, I’ll sprinkle my secret glitters little by little over you all! Not just to entertain you….but to heal my wounds, to float rather than being drowned.
      And this was not that long comments to show my gratitude to you. I hope you can feel that how much I’m grateful to you. Much loveπŸ’›

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I too had written my previous comment very early morning after getting 3 hours of sleep! And then your post had got me so worried that i didnt get sleep at all! Im glad of it being a little help to you from that headache! I know these headaches and they are so troublesome and refuse to go away​! Happy my comments made you feel energetic! Feeling satisfied! 😊 But at the same time feel a little sad about you being unable to let it out to anyone…and no best friend! That is suffocating! Having someone with a patient ear is such a luxury these days! But dont worry, you can let it out on wp now! I also started blogging due to exact same reason!! And it helped a lot! So i hope it will help you as well. Will be looking forward to your posts! Your comment made me so happy!
        And sorry for late reply, have been caught in so many things lately including searching a new house and then shifting, talking to random people, etc​ etc…that life is off the track it seems! πŸ™ˆ hoping for the best!
        Hope you get the best out of life from now onwards….only positive things, and loads of happiness! And yes i am lucky too to find you on wp!! πŸ˜‡

        Liked by 1 person

      2. 😭happy tears are coming out. In these 2 days I was covered with a very deep depression but this comment gave me life! You were worried about me this much that you couldn’t sleep?! Really? I mean am I this much lucky?
        Make some good neighbours around your new house and decorate your house like the happiest and most cozi place in the world for you and start your life with a new essence. Good luck and much loveπŸ’œ

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Ohh….really!! 😭 Don’t know what to say!! Little relieved that my comment gave you slight happiness! That’s only so much i can do from here πŸ˜”. It pains me to see someone i know engulfed in depression… it’s such a monster! Don’t let it win over you please! Try different things.. atleast one will help…do give a try to meditation and yoga…i have heard it helps in depression…and keep yourself busy in activities like any sport or a hobby. Yes i was so worried about you…And imagined you writhing in pain hence decided to write something to help you…i have been thr so know how it feels..dont want you to suffer like that. Hence keep giving you advises!
        Thanks for your suggestions! Yes that’s exactly my plan for the new house! Two years where im currently staying, my neighbours dont know i exist! So i plan to talk to my new neighbours and make them friends. Though it will be a monumental taks for the introvert me…i get cold feet talking to strangers! 😌😁
        I have found new house and it’s new, on 21st floor and has a big balcony (yes balcony!!! 😁😁)! Balcony has a hillside view and other side of the apartment has a sea-view (partially though). So I have already decided that balcony will be the place where i will be found the most!! πŸ˜› Will keep it cozy! (I dont decorate house much as i now follow minimalistic living! 😊) … Thanks for the good wishes!

        Liked by 1 person

      4. Keep advising cause it helps me a lot! And write your posts while siting in the balcony. The writings will surely come up very amazing. And I think strangers are better than years known persons, they are new to you so you can be close to them with your chosen limit. Known persons most of the time hurt us…so. I hope someday I’d have such a home😁

        Liked by 1 person

      5. Ok 😊 anything which can help you!
        Yes im already thinking of what all i can do in the balcony… writing, dreaming, lost, see stars, feel on top! It will help me to not feel suffocated and lonely!
        Yeah strangers are better in the sense we can build our relationship as per our comfort and limits and they will not judge you too. But still it takes me a lot of effort to break the ice! I rarely like anyone from the start and am always skeptical! 😁
        I hope and pray your wish comes true one day! Home and someone to keep you happy ( alone is boring!).

        Liked by 1 person

  5. I’m glad you found the inner talent in you..keep writing. I remember how excitedly you answered the riddles game..have fun..enjoy life..take care..good that you made friends from wp..I wish you happiness from the real world as well..

    Liked by 1 person

    1. My riddle bud Jeni!…I don’t know if it’s a talent or just something you will find randomly in everyone. But I love writing and I’ll keep it up until I lose reasons to write. Thanks a lot dearπŸ’œ

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Wow
    Thanks to wordpress
    I just start following you today and I and it’s feels I have known you for long ,I just love your expression and how you carry your audience along
    About the hidden glitter it’s a beautiful name for your site
    I feel every young adult have a story somewhere deep in their heart to share ,it’s really not an easy experience growing from teenage to adulthood
    there is an hidden treasure somewhere and a bitter truth we can’t even tell ourselves
    Because we feel like your Experience are the worst , let explore and discover the hidden glitter πŸ’ŸπŸ‘

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Hi there would you mind letting me know which hosting company you’re using?
    I’ve loaded your blog in 3 completely different browsers
    and I must say this blog loads a lot quicker then most.
    Can you recommend a good web hosting provider at a reasonable price?
    Kudos, I appreciate it!

    Like

  8. I’m impressed, I have to admit. Rarely do I come across a blog that’s both
    educative and entertaining, and without a doubt, you’ve hit the nail on the head.
    The issue is something too few folks are speaking intelligently about.
    Now i’m very happy that I found this in my hunt for something relating to this.

    Liked by 1 person

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